This really makes no sense on one hand & on the other it makes perfect sense....These past 4 months have brought with it many challenges & heartache...with some blessings & tender mercies strewn among it all...it started in January with Kimmi losing her beloved dog Damu & 3 weeks later she was in an accident that totaled her car & it was miraculous she walked away. February brought happy times welcoming our new grandbaby & time in Spokane, then 2 days after I returned my oldest brother had a health emergency in Arizona & I immediately flew there for a week & have been back a few times. My dear sweet 95 year old mom has some needs here, we have been unsuccessful (until today) in securing help with the much needed construction at Kimmi’s “cabin”, & my work
at CHOC is often intense but this has been quite the "winter" with a crazy census & a myriad of other things 😊 . All of these items
have been balls I have been juggling – trying not to drop any of them too often but cumulatively they became a giant snowbll that seemed intent on rolling over me. 😊.
I hit a bit of a bump in my personal road Friday April 19th causing me to reflect on
what I need & how to refill my cup so that I can continue to the things I
have “said yes to”…family, friends, work, church, home etc.
Monday April 22nd I was tearful at work which rarely happens – I mentioned to my boss that “maybe I need a
leave or something”; she is very supportive & said “whatever you need”. The
problem was I didn’t know what I needed – time at home?, more time in AZ?, go
work at Kimmi’s, try to get “caught up” at work (never possible) but I knew I
needed something. Maybe time in Utah – I needed to be “away” from my current “day
to day norms”, staying home I would feel guilty I wasn’t at work or with my
mom, or helping in Frazier Park, going back to AZ wasn’t the answer – I
needed to help there by getting sustainable structure & support in place
but not have it be me personally other than visits for needs as they arrive. I
had planned to attend Women’s Conference in Utah this week – maybe I should
stay there for a week – I just needed time away to process & get
perspective …
Back track to that Friday April 19th when I had a bit of a meltdown....that afternoon I got an email about a “last
minute need for a recovery room nurse for an Op Smile Mission in Chiapas Mexico
May 2-11”. I replied thank you for thinking of me & that in fact I had
hoped for a mission in April but it was clear to me my March & April
mission was in Arizona with family…and that I might have actually put my name
on the Chiapas mission list but my son in law was graduating on May 3rd
so even if I could go which I was unsure of I would have to miss patient
screening & wouldn’t be available until May 4th. I closed with
wishing them well on the mission & was sure they would get responses from
other Recovery Room nurses & didn’t think again about it.
Monday night April 22nd post all my thoughts at work I got a call from the Mission Coordinator
saying that they had people volunteer for that spot, but they wanted to offer
the spot to me even if I needed to arrive 2 days late & missed screening.
That made no sense to me? Essentially, she offered me a 5 day mission – unheard
of? The Program Coordinator reviewed PACU nurses available & she would love
for me to be on the team….that was a call I didn’t expect.
Doug & I talked that night about the challenges of
missions & would I return more tired & depleted? Plus I have 3 weeks off
from work already scheduled in May/June/July – what would my boss say? I
found out that the other Recovery Room nurse was a dear friedn of mine Katrin & she goes to that
mission site almost every year so I called her asking if it is an “arduous”
site. She said they have a great in country infrastructure – maybe one late
night but wonderful people & a wonderful site & she would take the lead
on the Recovery Room. I pondered & prayed about what to do, looked at
flights leaving SLC & returning to LAX & did they even make sense? On
Wednesday April 24th I introduced the idea of a Mission trip to my boss – it is during
Nurses Week & there are lots of fun events at CHOC I would normally support
that week but she again said “whatever you need”. I looked at getting all my
meetings & responsibilities covered at work – for an extended stay in Utah
or Mexico. What was I supposed to do….they gave me until yesterday to decide
& said no pressure if it’s not right for me to go on the mission. This past weekend I went to Murietta for some time wiht another dear friend & took a walk & decided I was supposed to go on this mission &
that it truly is “the gift” of time” I need. Today I found ut that my darling roomate from my last Moroco Misison is also on this mission - again such a blesing!
Missions truly “flip my brain”. I
see others in such humble circumstances & recognize that while I &
everyone has struggles here they are 1st world problems. Also while
I go to serve others I am always the one who is blessed by the opportunity. So tomorrow afternoon I will fly to SLC for a day of BYU
Women’s Conference on Thursday, on Friday we will celebrate Aaron’s college
graduation & on Saturday I will take a flight from SLC to Mexico. There is
a church nearby with a 10 am service that I will attend on Sunday & I have
reached out to church leaders there to see if there might be other ways I can
connect & serve church members while I am there. Of course my mainfocus is on being a Recovery Room Nurse for the children in Chiapas that our team will help with life changing
surgeries. Again…it may not make sense but I am seeing everything “fall
into place” & believe that this unusual mission opportunity is really an
answer to my prayers & what my heart, mind & soul need right now.
MANY friends plus family have supported me so much these past months & I
have felt that even in the depths of the challenges I was lifted by many. This was an unplanned & to some makes no sense but it is where I am supposed to be so off I go....grateful for the opportunity. as always I would appreciate all the positiv thoughts & prayers youn might feel inclined to offer in the next 10 days while I am gone - both for me & my immediate & exended family & for this team of people I will soon emeet in Mexico! I am blessed & grateful....
